Tuesday, March 2, 2010

March 2 6:57 am
I'm remembering why I started writing this. It was from the original notebook. That one that went back some many years to a terrible life. It was a time that never ended.On and on it went until one day I flew away on that white dog. Strange thing,no matter how far or high I go , it will follow. There is something about people,certain people, that no matter how hard you try, once they get in your head they live there. Dormant just waiting. These sleeping crumbs of people are always there,just waiting for the perfect moment. Like Sunday,what a great day. New work. finally had my shows in place.
I was at one of my galleries and framed 3 new pieces for the next show. On the way home I stopped and did some shopping then a nice dinner and video with my doggies.
Then those dormant little crumbs start falling out of my phone. The insults,humiliation,the hateful onslaught of words. Those awful words,the sticks and stones that I kept in the back of my mind for so many years that every day I struggled to keep them there came at me. they are always in the same form and they work. They work hard and the do there job. they get out. Out of the phone they came and back in my head. Now I believe it. that's how it works that's how it's designed to work. I wanted to go to bed last night but went to a meeting, I sat in a paranoid trance. Trying to think of something to say and nothing came. Now the demon crumbs of words make me frightened. Now the crying starts and I just want to go to sleep with my doggies.
Now,how do I get them out of my head, I'll hear them all day. Everyone has an answer but they don't get it. It's easy. Spooky Dracula guy sneaks in and sucks the blood that's what it's like.

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