I'm bothered and distracted by a message I got saying I am a hateful,cruel and manipulative person. Funny,I certainly don't think of myself in those terms. See,that's just like not wanting to do a leftover dinner. Selfish.So,I feel guilty and God forbid someone not think nice of me so do I give in and give up and into what don't believe and leave my zone. I believe?Cruel? Am I really cruel or just trying to raise my head and not drown in that swimming pool? Not sure. Never sure.Ever since I can remember I
was always so sure and then someone comes along and slowly my head gets all twisted,my world becomes small,I'm drowning in the pool and I ,Loose focus,Hey Focus! there is that old word again.
Reminds me of a jacket I wanted. It was white with blue and green stripes. I think I was in 4th of 5th grade.Mom didn't want me to get it but I loved it so much. It had a hood. I wore it once and everyone laughed at me. Never should have left the place I didn't grow up in.