August 24,2012

Well,I'm back. I wanted to save my return to the blog until my new show was up but too much has happened and I really didn't feel like it until yesterday. I was at a meeting and a friend came up to me and said some truly  beautiful things to me. This was my response. I told her I decided that this summer I wanted to see what my potencial was, I wanted to see if I could reach back and realize what I was capable of doing. I spent the entire summer on developing,creating and working on my painting. No tricks,no cutting up. If something doesn't work,no trashing.Working it out,frustratedsometimes but having the courage to keep it going. I did go to the sea in June to prepare my head. Alone,looking at the water and walking, breathing. Only a few weeks left of school and I took off. Felt good. Anyway,all the drawings and collage I had done at Highwire had to somehow guide me. For the first time in a  very long time I knew I could do it. I finally had confidence in myself. I had Ginny! When I picked her up at the shelter I told her SHE was the first thing I ever did on my own. No asking advice from anyone. I wanted her and I got her. All by myself. She had a terrible accident a month ago and had 2 surgery's. I couldn't imagine what I would do if something happened to her.                                                                    
Back to the painting. Up every day at 4am. My studio is in the gargae now. I can work better with the dogs around  me plus I think the basement is creepy.Like you have the weight of the house on you and you can't breath. I went to that book. The Artist in his Studio.I took it every weekend to Highwire.Cezanne's studio was the first. Hard to believe I worked on that image over a year. I memorized it so that when I started the painting I knew how I wanted it to look. It's 12ft long. Got it togther in 4 days. Hauling it back and forth to Highwire so I could see the scale.I never really liked Cezanne or should probably say never paid much attention. Now,well now we communicate. Come Cezanne,from your grave give me a break!He had a long shelf in his studio and a big ladder to reach for his things. I understand it now.I have one more big piece to go,72"x 180".I not sure what will go on that one.