April 12 7:10 am

I always enjoy finding exactly what I need in the global trash heap. I need to spray paint my clementine boxes for my small notebooks and I have to take the spray as far away from the house as possible (don't want those Star Wars guys riding around with me again). I found 2 saw horses.

in fact,they were next to my truck when I came out of work. Who could resist? Anyway, got them well back in the yard with a big piece of cardboard on top and the first coat of spray has been applied. I also found several ski poles and skis and a bag of neckties. I 'm thinking of making a giant shaggy dog or a yak.

April 10 10:35 am

What a morning. Been up since 5 am and finished and photographed a bunch of work for my soon to be published website. Wow,a website. I went to Highwire yesterday and worked in the quiet of the gallery to finish my notebooks, which will probably never be finished. It's exciting when you take a break and then come back with new energy. Anyway the website has the little visible boy directing traffic. It's fun. Just think,you work all your life or you try to because that's all you know to do. sometimes it's good sometimes not, but it's always there. It's always there calling,challenging,disappointing but a constant. Wake up in the morning and art,my friend and worst enemy is always there. I was asked this morning why I don't write about my friends. Why don't I include all the everyday stuff. Why don't I list the credits,like a movie. I don't know,maybe cause at the end of the day my table isn't set for dinner,it's covered with stuff I make.

April 9th 8:58

Where have I been? Well,got those art cards in the mail. Had to deal with that evil person who screamed threats on the phone and then, the rains came and the flood and the disaster and then I saw Picasso and he spoke to me and then I watched Jackson Pollock and I went to NYC and ate a very expensive lunch at the met and then came home and went to a party with lots of old people and then work and Highwire and went back to the basement to look at the flood and that is when

I thought "WWJD" what would Jackson do? He would have a drink and figure it out!

3 bookcases had to be moved,2 trashed and lots of books to sort. Gave away bags of books.Took doors off hinges and trashed. Then I had to deal with the canvases. All stretcher bars were wrecked and every painting had to be taken apart. I laid each canvas on the floor and cut them up.

I folded and cut folded and cut. I didn't want to end up with a bunch of random pieces so just kept folding. some of these guys were 6 x 6 feet. I bought small pre stretched canvases and glued some of the pieces on the surface. Went back to my notebooks and included some of those scraps.

I have 7 notebooks all in their very own clementine box. This way If i want to show them they can include all the stuff that goes with them.

March 12th 7:45

Been up since 4:30. Wanted to finish my set of trading cards so I can mail them tomorrow. Actually have almost a week to spare till the deadline. I used my altered book "How to Choose a Boy" I'll use lots of this stuff for the dog days show. I'm painting boxes that are used to ship produce for displaying the books. Cheap!

Looking at these I will probably start framing some of the pages or as a set.

The painting I was working on is getting the plug pulled.

I might cut it ,not sure.

I'm promoting a local art center at the farmer's market. I'll use my spritzer girl experience for that job!

March 10 6:18

This is called "Not what I'm looking for but look what I found" I went to a meeting last night and realized I have got to get my act together. I was looking for a drawing to transfer on to trading cards,actually decided against the drawing I was looking for and went with the images of Every dog wants a boy. I found these ancient drawings of Kachina Dolls. I did a ton of these drawings and several well more than several of paintings in my pre-Santa Fe days. An instructor at the academy called it "indian shit" so I stopped and never did another. Always intimidated never duplicated. Ha!. He's dead. I'm still being intimidated. Life goes on.

I've never shown these. should it matter if they are old? Might think about it.

I could show these in my October show at the Nature Center.

Barely recovered from last weeks trauma. Didn't do much but stare into space.

Mar 4 7:49

A thought just came about a movie. I think it was the Ten Commandments not sure but the scene was about Passover. I guess it came to mind from looking at the calendar. Anyway,in this scene these folks are all huddled together in there little clay house while screaming and carrying on takes place in the streets. They will wait until it passes over. That is what I'm going to do. The evil plague has come to get me but!,I will hide in my little brick house until it goes away. I will sneak out to work and return promptly,I will sneak out to Highwire and home fine art to be with artists who don't judge because they don't care. I will come home to the little brick hut and listening to the barking of the dogs and the relentless ringing of the of the phone until it's gone. gone from my head gone from my life.

March 2 6:57 am

I'm remembering why I started writing this. It was from the original notebook. That one that went back some many years to a terrible life. It was a time that never ended.On and on it went until one day I flew away on that white dog. Strange thing,no matter how far or high I go , it will follow. There is something about people,certain people, that no matter how hard you try, once they get in your head they live there. Dormant just waiting. These sleeping crumbs of people are always there,just waiting for the perfect moment. Like Sunday,what a great day. New work. finally had my shows in place.

I was at one of my galleries and framed 3 new pieces for the next show. On the way home I stopped and did some shopping then a nice dinner and video with my doggies.

Then those dormant little crumbs start falling out of my phone. The insults,humiliation,the hateful onslaught of words. Those awful words,the sticks and stones that I kept in the back of my mind for so many years that every day I struggled to keep them there came at me. they are always in the same form and they work. They work hard and the do there job. they get out. Out of the phone they came and back in my head. Now I believe it. that's how it works that's how it's designed to work. I wanted to go to bed last night but went to a meeting, I sat in a paranoid trance. Trying to think of something to say and nothing came. Now the demon crumbs of words make me frightened. Now the crying starts and I just want to go to sleep with my doggies.

Now,how do I get them out of my head, I'll hear them all day. Everyone has an answer but they don't get it. It's easy. Spooky Dracula guy sneaks in and sucks the blood that's what it's like.