Jan. 11 6:03 am

What a day I had yesterday sort of like having a date with myself. Wanted to see this exhibition at the Phila. Art Museum and yesterday was my last chance. I get all consumed in that little world I describe and not only dig a hole but fall in it. Like Alice fell in the hole after the rabbit. Sat I almost finished the notebook about "Evening Bag" she becomes Miss America she doesn't think she is beautiful and she's not but still she gets her crown. then started working on a new book about dogs. Failed,not because they didn't look like dogs but I knew I could do better. I want to explode my ideas. Explode my little dolls,my dog drawings. I can with the paint,I no how but fall back into the small world ,the hole. This is where yesterday came in. I got this book,Arshile Gorky,the early years. It is a drawing course for me. Plain and simple,pencil. that's it. all my notebooks are the same sharpie pen. Change is what I need. the next book is Genesis of Abstraction. I know I can do that and that is how I want to look at the dogs. Then I found 3 books about "DADA " and the revolt,my found sculpture has to get big!

All I have written is the process to recovering,well,recover and move on! I really want to test how much I can do ,howfar I can push the work. The portraits from the black hole need to be looked at,they are too tight. Need to blow them up,literally.

Here she is...."Miss America!"